Supporting a Foster Child’s Mental Health: What Actually Helps

A child who has just moved in can seem fine for weeks. Then on a wet Tuesday they won’t come down for dinner, and the next morning their stomach hurts and school is out of the question. Telling the difference between ordinary settling-in and something that needs help is one of the harder parts of fostering, and you are not meant to work it out alone.

Please note: this is general information for people thinking about fostering, not medical advice, and not a way of diagnosing a child. Figures are correct at August 2026. If you are worried about a child right now, the NHS page on where to get urgent help for mental health lists the fastest routes.

Why this comes up so often in fostering

The Department for Education counted 81,770 children in care in England on 31 March 2025, 54,820 of them living with foster carers. Every year, carers of children aged 5 to 16 who have been in care twelve months or more fill in a short questionnaire about how the child is doing emotionally. Of the 43,220 scores recorded for the year to March 2025, 42 per cent landed in the band the DfE calls a cause for concern, and another 13 per cent came out borderline. The figures are in the DfE release on children looked after in England.

Set that against the general child population: the NHS survey found 20.3 per cent of eight to sixteen year olds in England had a probable mental disorder in 2023.

The gap is not mysterious. Most children come into care after abuse or neglect, and changing house and school in the same week is hard on anybody. So if you foster, expect to be supporting a child’s mental health at some point. It is not a rare specialism. It is the ordinary work.

What it actually looks like at home

Low mood rarely announces itself. It shows up as small changes you notice because you are the one making the breakfast.

• Pulling away from friends, dropping a club they liked, whole weekends in their room
• Sleeping badly or constantly, eating much more or much less, no energy, unable to concentrate
• Tearful, snappy, flat, saying things like “what’s the point” or that they are useless

A couple of rough days is not depression. Children have rough days. The pattern worth acting on is low mood nearly every day for two weeks or more with no lift in it, or a clear loss of interest in things they used to enjoy. Much of it makes more sense once you understand how trauma and attachment shape a child’s behaviour.

One exception, and it matters. Anything that points to a child hurting themselves or wanting to die is never a wait-and-see. That goes to your supervising social worker and the child’s social worker the same day, however awkward it feels to raise it.

What helps day to day

Most of what helps is unglamorous. It is routine, patience and being around.

Keep the shape of the week predictable. A bedtime that does not move, meals at roughly the same time, the same walk to school. Children who have had chaos read reliability as safety long before they can say so.

Talk sideways rather than face on. Car journeys, washing up, walking the dog, the ten minutes with the light off at bedtime. A child who would freeze under “so, how are you feeling?” will often say the real thing while drying a saucepan. Follow their lead, and let a shrug be an acceptable answer. That is more or less what therapeutic parenting and the PACE approach ask of you, minus the jargon.

• Keep them connected. Get them to the football, the youth club, the friend’s house. Being cut off makes everything heavier, and a child who has just moved is already short of people who know them.
• Look after the basics, because they are not trivial. Sleep and food affect a child’s mood as much as an adult’s, and so does getting outside for an hour.
• Write it down, with dates. “Ate almost nothing at tea, third time this week” is worth more than a general impression six weeks later, and your daily recordings are what the health review will work from.
• If they are already having talking sessions or taking something prescribed, help them stick with it. Missed appointments are the usual reason good support fizzles out.

Getting professional help, and an honest word about waiting

There is a proper structure behind a child in care, and it helps to know what you can ask for. Every child gets a health assessment by a doctor before their first review, which happens within 20 working days of them coming into care. After that, health reviews run at least every six months for children under five and at least every twelve months for children of five and over. Those are legal requirements under the government’s statutory guidance on the health and well-being of children in care, not favours.

For anything more, the route runs through your supervising social worker, the child’s social worker, the GP and the school. A referral to CAMHS, properly called children and young people’s mental health services, comes from one of those.

Here is the part other agencies tend to leave out. The Children’s Commissioner found that 958,200 children in England had an active referral to those services in 2023 to 2024. Of those who got into treatment, half started within 35 days, but the average wait was 114 days because of a long tail waiting far longer. At the end of March 2024, 320,000 were still waiting, nearly a third for over a year, and 296,300 referrals were closed without the child being seen.

So make the referral, but do not treat it as the plan. School is often the quicker door. Mental health support teams were working in almost 11,800 schools and colleges in England by June 2026, reaching around six million pupils and nearly 80 per cent of secondary schools, and the government has said every school will have access by the end of 2029. The designated teacher can pull that in, and the child’s Personal Education Plan is where to write down what they need. There is more on working with a child’s school if that is new to you.

When it is urgent

Some things need a response today rather than at the next supervision visit. Talking about death or suicide. Fresh injuries the child cannot explain. Giving away things they care about. A sudden lift in mood after weeks of misery, which can mean a decision has been made.

• If a child is in immediate danger, call 999 and stay with them.
• Otherwise call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option, which reaches a local urgent helpline open 24 hours.
• Papyrus runs HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141, open every day of the year, for adults worried about a young person as much as for the young person themselves.
• Childline is 0800 1111 and free for the child to ring. Samaritans is 116 123.

Then tell your supervising social worker the same day. In the meantime, make the house safer without making a performance of it: medicines including the paracetamol in the kitchen drawer, anything sharp, and cords or belts, put somewhere hard to reach.

It is also worth making a plan together on a calm day, written on paper the child keeps: what helps when everything feels awful, and three people they can ring. Some carers add a box of things that take the edge off. A favourite film, a photo of the dog, headphones. Sounds small. It works in the moment.

Looking after your own head

Sitting with a child’s distress week after week takes something out of you, and carers who ignore that end up less useful to the child. Use your supervision honestly rather than reporting that everything is fine, and take the short breaks when they are offered.

You won’t have to do this alone

None of this is meant to be carried by one person in a kitchen. Every GLF carer has a supervising social worker who knows the child and knows you, and someone answers the phone out of hours when a Saturday night goes wrong. Training on trauma and children’s mental health is part of the job here, not an extra you chase in your own time, and we will push the local authority for a referral or a health review when the system is slow. Here is what support our carers actually get.

We are also clear about money, because people are often too polite to ask. GLF pays £479.50 a week for a child under 11 and £507.50 for a child aged 11 or over, per child, for as long as they live with you, with an enhanced fee of roughly £100 to £200 a week on top where needs are higher. One fixed weekly payment, no chasing receipts for birthdays.

Ofsted inspected us from 21 to 25 July 2025 and rated us Outstanding in all three judgements. Read the report rather than take our word for it. If you have got this far and thought “I could do that, but I’d want proper support behind me”, that is the right instinct. Start with becoming a foster carer, or just ring us.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need a background in mental health to foster?

No. Most of our carers came from something else entirely, and the Skills to Foster preparation course plus ongoing training covers what you need. What matters more is being steady, and noticing a change early enough to say something.

Can I take a child to the GP or arrange counselling myself?

Routine health care, including the GP, is usually delegated to you, but the limits are set for each child. Anything beyond routine, counselling included, goes through the child’s social worker, and your supervising social worker will tell you where the line sits before the child moves in.

How long does a CAMHS referral take?

It varies enormously by area. Half of the children who started treatment in 2023 to 2024 waited 35 days or less, but the average was 114 days and some waited over a year. Push the school route in parallel and keep a written record while you wait.

Will I be told about a child’s mental health before they move in?

You will be given what is known, and you can ask for more before you say yes. When a child arrives at short notice the information is often thin, because nobody has had time to gather it. That gap is normal, and your supervising social worker helps you handle it.